Blessing

This is the text of a message that I gave at Runnymede Community Church on October 13 2024 with links to some resources imbedded.

Nicholas is 25 now, but in his first year he needed some corrective surgery at Sick Kids’ Hospital.  Pam and I were pretty stressed as we were going to hand our baby over to strangers who were going to cut him open! While we were sitting with the intake nurse, filling out all the forms, I could hear her singing quietly. Then I realized what she was singing! She was singing a blessing over us!  What a gift from God! We went through that difficult day knowing that God was with us.  

Blessings are powerful!

1. The Importance/Power of Blessing

In many ways, in the western world, we have forgotten the power of blessing. As we have come through the Enlightenment and Modernism, we have placed an emphasis on rationalism, and all but ignored the miraculous and the supernatural. We have forgotten the power that blessings and other prayers can have. So much so that, especially in non-liturgical churches, benedictions have become closing prayers and sermon reviews instead of a blessing.

But the Bible takes blessing very seriously!

In Genesis, Jacob's older twin brother Esau is the one who is supposed to carry on the family legacy: he will get the majority of the inheritance and he will receive the blessing due to the first-born son.  Jacob swindles Esau out of his inheritance -- his “birthright.” (Genesis 25: 27-34)  Later, as their father is blind and dying, Jacob impersonates Esau, and receives the blessing that was supposed to go to Esau.  Esau isn’t happy about losing his inheritance, but he is devastated to lose the blessing!

Genesis 27:34-38

When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!”

But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.”

Esau said, “Isn’t he rightly named Jacob? This is the second time he has taken advantage of me: He took my birthright, and now he’s taken my blessing!” Then he asked, “Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?”

Isaac answered Esau, “I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?”

Esau said to his father, “Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” Then Esau wept aloud.

That Esau is so much more upset about losing the blessing over the inheritance tells us that blessing is so much more than nice words that make us feel good! Blessings are powerful!

All of the patriarchs blessed their children!

Later, as Jacob himself is dying, Joseph brings his twin sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, to be blessed.  And, trickster that he was, Jacob crossed his arms and placed his right hand on the younger son’s head so that the younger Ephraim received the greater blessing! (Genesis 48:8-20)

Later, just before Moses dies, he blesses all the tribes of Israel. For some reason, (maybe because my son’s name is Benjamin) I especially like the blessing for Benjamin:

Deuteronomy 33:12

 About Benjamin he said:

“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him,

    for he shields him all day long,

    and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.”

The Argentinian pastor and leader Ed Silvoso came to Toronto, teaching us about Prayer Evangelism.  As he was trying to convince us to bless our neighbours, he said, “When you accidentally cut someone off in traffic, you can feel their curses on the back of your neck. If you can feel the curses, don’t you think that your neighbours can feel your blessings?!”

He also said that, as he began to bless his neighbours, some of them said to him, “You know, I always feel ‘good vibes’ around you!”

People can feel your blessing even if they don’t hear it!

Not just people - Saint Patrick blessed a river so that the people could catch more fish! When Roy Godwin started to bless the lands around the Ffald-y-Brenin retreat centre in Wales, dried-up springs began to flow again, and the farms began to prosper!

Blessing has power!

The reason that our blessings have power is that the Holy Spirit works through us to put His power behind our words. In this way, we proclaim God’s blessing on people, and He honours our words by putting His power behind them, so that the people are truly blessed! 

2. The Call and Privilege of Blessing

The Apostle Peter writes to us in 1 Peter 2:9-10:

You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

You are all priests!

In the Hebrew scriptures, priests led worship, sacrificed for forgiveness, interceded for the people, and BLESSED the people!

Today, as priests who are filled with the Holy Spirit, we worship God, we can proclaim God’s forgiveness on people through Jesus, we pray for people, and we get the privilege of blessing people!

It isn’t just a privilege, it is a calling: in Numbers 6:22-26 God commissioned the priests to bless the people:

The Priestly Blessing

The Lord said to Moses,  “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them:

“‘“The Lord bless you

    and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

    and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

    and give you peace.”’

Because we are priests, we are also called to bless the people around us.

3. How to Bless

Overt blessing: blessing people in such a way that they know they are being blessed.

When I used to perform weddings for Bob Buckley when he wasn’t available, some couples would ask for a secular service, without prayers and scripture.  After doing a few of these, I started saying to the couples, “I’m a Christian minister; is it okay if I say a blessing for you at the end of the ceremony?”  I never had anyone say no!

Many people aren’t that interested in hearing about our faith, some people are open to you praying for them, but almost everyone is happy to receive a blessing. It’s best to ask them first!

Covert blessing: blessing people when they don’t know they’re being blessed

You can bless your neighbours quietly as you walk past their house. You can bless people in your own regular prayers. While I continue to bless our children overtly, when they were young, I used to slip into their bedroom and bless them while they slept.

Even if the people you bless don’t receive your blessing, it doesn’t go to waste! When Jesus sends out the 70 disciples to minister, He tells them to bless the people and their household.  He said that if they don’t receive the blessing, the blessing would return to the giver! (Luke 10:6)

Take the opportunity while saying grace to bless all those involved in getting the food to the table, and everyone around the table! 

Scriptural blessings: There are many blessings and benedictions in the Bible. You can easily bookmark or memorize a few so you have them at the ready!

I created a list of many scriptural blessings and put them in a Google doc.

I have books of Celtic Blessings, such as Celtic Blessings: Prayers for Everyday Life compiled by Ray Simpson, and there are likely more books of blessings that you can buy.

In her book The Healing Presence, Leanne Payne says that when we are praying for healing for someone, we need to listen to the person, listen to God for them, and if you don’t hear anything in particular to pray about, bless them.

While the scriptural blessings and the other pre-written prayers are wonderful, there are times when the Holy Spirit will give us words of knowledge, prophetic words, images or inklings that makes the blessing more timely, personal, and powerful for the person being blessed. When I receive something like that, it is usually as I am giving a scriptural blessing.

Blessings are powerful, but James reminds us that words are not enough:

 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

James 2:14-17

If the person that you are blessing has a need that you can help them with, then bless them tangibly as well as with words!

4. Who to Bless

Bless those you love: children, parents, spouse, other family members, neighbours

Many people, particularly men, spend their lives yearning for their father’s blessing. I haven’t really experienced that - my dad was pretty spare in his compliments, and the whole idea of formally blessing someone was alien to him, but I always knew his love and support and felt his blessing.  All the same,  at about my current age, he went back to pastor a local church after being in denominational leadership for many years. I saw my opportunity to bless him.  So I drove up to Sudbury for his induction service, I was able to stand up during the sharing time and bless him for the good father and pastor he is.  I really believe that if we want someone else's blessing, we should bless them ourselves - it might not change them, but it might change us!

 

Bless those you don’t love

Jesus says in Luke 6:28, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

Paul says in Romans 12:14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

If you bless the people who hurt you, you will be like God!

Jesus says in Matthew 5:43-45 

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbour’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 

Bless them all!  

You may remember Stafford the crossing guard who used to work out in front of Runnymede Community Church at Runnymede and Colbeck. If you crossed the  street with Stafford, you got blessed.  It wasn’t anything elaborate, but Stafford would say “bless” as each person crossed.  Be like Stafford - bless everyone you meet!

Last week, The Bible with Nicky and Pippa Gumbel’s title for the day was, “How to Be a Blessing Machine.”  The idea was that the church should be a blessing machine! They could have titled it, “Be like Stafford!”

The Blessing:

1 Peter 2:9-10

You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, 

God’s special possession, 

that you may declare the praises of him who called you 

out of darkness into his wonderful light. 

Once you were not a people, 

but now you are the people of God; 

once you had not received mercy, 

but now you have received mercy.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Now all glory to God, who is able, 

through his mighty power at work within us, 

to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 

Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus 

through all generations forever and ever! 

Amen.

The Joy of the Lord Is Our Strength! (even in discouragement)

(I originally wrote this for New Life Church Sosua's monthly newsletter)

When Pam and I returned to Toronto this past spring, we were able to share a bit about our time in the Dominican Republic at our church. I shared about a few things that break my heart, and some things that give me hope. I reflected that this is part of the Christian life: living with broken, yet hopeful hearts.

When we reflect on the things that are wrong in the world, or the things that are wrong in our lives, we can respond with grief, anxiety, or all too easily, anger, rage or apathy because change seems impossible. But even in the midst of being broken hearted, angry, anxious or immobilized, there is this wonderful verse in Nehemiah 8 that says “the joy of the Lord is our strength!”

The context of the verse is Nehemiah's return from exile to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls of the destroyed and vulnerable city. In Chapter 8, the embattled people of the city gather and Ezra the scribe reads from the Book of the Law and he and others explain it to the people all day. As the people begin to understand God's ways, their hearts are broken and they weep because they realize how far they have been from God's will and way for generations. Nehemiah stands up and says, “Don’t mourn or weep on such a day as this! For today is a sacred day before the Lord your God. … Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

Even when we are broken hearted, angry, or immobilized because of the world around us, or the world inside us, the joy of the Lord is our strength! This joy gives us the strength to live through the brokenness and evil in our world and in ourselves. And, it can give us the strength to be part of the change that needs to happen. 

How do we live in the joy of the Lord? 

I live in His joy by focusing on the goodness of His character through the character of Jesus. Read the Gospels and revel in the goodness of God.  

The description of love in 1 Corinthians 13, and the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 are descriptions of God’s character. Meditate on these and take joy in the goodness of God.

The people in Nehemiah’s day were discouraged and embattled on all sides, and yet, “the joy of the Lord was their strength! Even if you are feeling discouraged and embattled, the joy of the Lord is your strength! 

Blessing:

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Theology and Character in Discipleship

 Theology and Character in Discipleship

I was sitting in a restaurant on Bloor Street with Pastor Eric Mavinga who is pastor of Parole de Verite in Kinshasa City, Democratic Republic of Congo. He has over 2,000 in his congregation and oversees the churches of his denomination in Kinshasa.  He wanted to know what I have learned about discipleship (training in Christian life/belief) in our small congregation in Toronto!  In the midst of our conversation I commented that the western church’s emphasis in discipleship has been on teaching correct theology.  I said that discipleship should be more about character than theology.  Eric said, “I have to write that down!”  At which point I thought I must have said something important!  But even as I said it, I wasn’t comfortable with what I said.  We may have emphasized theology over character, but the solution wasn’t to emphasize character over theology.  Theology is still important.

I lived with and mused about this tension until I read Richard Rohr’s book, “Falling Upward: a spirituality for the two halves of life.”  Rohr writes that the first half of life is setting up the structure: education, career, family, house…, and the second half is about how we will live in that structure. The two halves are not necessarily chronological.

 I thought that this was a great metaphor for discipleship: where theology is the structure and character is how we will live within that structure.  Our problem in the church is that we have taught people how to build a house without teaching them how to make a home.  I would also say that we have created many amateur architects who build unlivable houses.

How do we train people in the two halves of Christian life?  First, I think we need to understand that a simple structure is all that most of us need.  For most of us, introductory courses in practical Christianity like Alpha is enough structure.  As we live in the structure, we may need to learn more, or make some adjustments in our theology just as I repair and renovate our house in order to make it more livable. But early on, we need to train people to follow Jesus in his character, and do what he said to do.  I have WAY more to say about this, but that might be in books not blogs. The goal of the Christian life is to be transformed into the likeness (character) of God. 

2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT

So all of us … can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

A few months ago I watched a Dallas Willard lecture where he said, “Don’t try to do what He says. Try to become the kind of person who would do what he says.”  He says this in the context of using the spiritual disciplines (practices) to become the kind of person who would do what he says.  I would say that we also need to do what he says, along with spiritual practices to become the kind of person who would do what he says.  We do what he says, not to just be obedient, but to become the kind of person who would do what he says.  I’ve known people who are trying their best to do what Jesus said, but they were so angry in their actions, that their actions felt more like hate than the love of Jesus.  We need to do what He says with the aim of becoming like him in his character.

Years ago, I was talking about this with my friend and former neighbour, Jeff Douglas.  Jeff said that, in acting it is best to embody the character that you are playing, but if you are unable to do that, there is a method of acting called “Fake it until you make it.”  In faith, we do the things Jesus said in order to become the kind of person who would do what he says. It might feel like we're faking it, but if it is our desire to have the same character as Jesus, we can fake it until we make it.

Henri Nouwen says it this way in a piece called “Doing Love:”

“Often we speak about love as if it is a feeling. But if we wait for a feeling of love before loving, we may never learn to love well. The feeling of love is beautiful and life-giving, but our loving cannot be based in that feeling. To love is to think, speak, and act according to the spiritual knowledge that we are infinitely loved by God and called to make that love visible in this world.”

Mostly we know what the loving thing to do is. When we "do" love, even if others are not able to respond with love, we will discover that our feelings catch up with our acts.” 

I’ve been musing on this a long time. Let me know what you think, argue with me, or tell a story in the comments!

Blessing:

May you turn to the Lord, 

    so that you can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. 

For the Lord is the Spirit, 

    and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 

And the Lord—who is the Spirit—

    will make you more and more like him 

        as you are changed into his glorious image.

                                                        - adapted from 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 

 

Solace: a playlist for loss

 In 2005, we lost my beautiful sister, Faith, to renal cancer which was likely caused by two treatments for two bouts of Hodgkin’s disease in the early 1990’s.  During the difficult times of her illness and passing, we had 2 cds on heavy rotation: Steve Bell’s “Solace,” and Fernando Ortega’s “The Shadow of Your Wings.”  Steve Bell’s liner notes said this: 

“The Solace Project began when a friend, who was then dying of cancer, sent us an email to say that he had compiled several of my songs on a CD and was using it for pain management and comfort. He wrote in his diary, “I want to see a ‘sustaining’ CD from Steve Bell, a compilation that would help those who are dying and those who love them.” Ben had gone as far as to list which songs he thought would be best and had even thought through possible packaging scenarios for a CD. It occurred to us at Signpost that this could be a meaningful project and so we went ahead and put SOLACE together.”

At Faith’s funeral Chris Rice’s “Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)” and Matt Redman’s “Blessed be the Name” were sung.” 

In 2019, almost 15 years after Faith’s passing, I returned home from a 4 day bikepacking trip with an extreme and unexplained fatigue.  The fatigue seemed to be connected to a severe infection and subsequent rounds of antibiotics. In July of that year I had completed an Ironman 70.3 Triathlon, in October, I couldn’t walk around the block. The antibiotics finally knocked down the infection, but the fatigue did not dissipate. I used the down time to get a spot checked out on my forearm. In December, I had surgery for Melanoma.  The cancer was caught early enough and I required no further treatment, but the recovery from surgery as well as some nagging continued symptoms from the infection weighed on me. And… the deep fatigue persisted.

Early 2020, I received a call from my only other sister, Kathy, about some disconcerting symptoms that she was getting tested. In the Spring she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Due to the physical distance and Covid-19 restrictions we were only able to visit with her briefly when she came south for treatment in the Summer.  Kathy passed in hospice care on January 10, 2021.  Her funeral was online due to Covid-19.  During her illness and subsequent death, I returned to Steve Bell and Fernando Ortega for solace.  I’ve added other artists to the streaming list I now listen to.

My fatigue has only worsened through the two and a half years.  I’ve been diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. ME/CFS has kept me from ministry, relationships, and the outdoor adventure that I love.  Needless to say, these last few years have been full of grief (there have also been times of great joy). I realize that these have been difficult years for many people so I thought I would share the playlist that I keep returning to for solace.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6AmfXc7Z2ibKrchi7b9hCh?si=IL8tkMeHQWmDgr_0FTagUg

https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/solace/pl.u-9N9LLpeTxy49oE 

I hope you find solace as you listen

The Lord, who is close to the broken-hearted and who rescues those whose spirits are crushed:

The Lord bless you and keep you

The Lord make his face shine upon you

The Lord turn his gaze toward you

    And give you peace.

 

The Good News and Broken Spirits

Last winter, some friends gave me the Lenten guide, Forward to Freedom: From Exodus to Easter, by David Adam, Vicar of Holy Island, Northumberland.  The book brought to my attention something I’ve never noticed before in the Exodus story.  In Exodus 6, Moses brings a message from God to the people of Israel enslaved in Egypt.  God says, “I am the Lord, and I will free you from the burdens of the Egyptians and deliver you from slavery to them.  I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgement.  I will take you as my people, and I will be your God, who has freed you from the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; I will give it to you for a possession.  I am the Lord.”

This is amazingly good news!  God has come to take them out of slavery and into a promised land to call their own.  He is going to draw them into a deep and intimate relationship with himself!  But verse 9 says that the people “would not listen to Moses because of their broken spirit and their cruel slavery.”

We Christians have this amazingly good news from God as well: that He is here to free people from their heavy burdens and deliver them from slavery to the “world”, sin, and self, and bring them into the Kindom of Heaven. He is here to draw them into a deep and intimate relationship with Himself! 

When people won’t hear the good news we proclaim, we often respond like a scorned lover and blame them: “They won’t listen because they have some sin they want to hold on to; they are arrogant in their unbelief; they are rebellious against the God who made them and loves them.”  It’s true that there are people who reject the good news for these reasons, and there are others who can’t accept the good news because of intellectual or moral difficulties with the message.  But It occurred to me that there are many people who cannot hear the good news because of their broken spirit and their cruel slavery.

People’s spirits get broken through the hardships of life and harm received from others.  Sadly, some people’s spirits have been broken by Christians and the Church.  While modern day slavery is a terrible problem, people are also enslaved to their own sin and others’ sin.  People feel trapped by economic systems, debt, illness and addiction.  There are people today, especially those who are marginalized, who can’t hear the good news because they can’t even imagine a way out.

God responds to the Israelites’ rejection of the good news by going into battle against Pharaoh and the Egyptian gods who were oppressing the people.  He brings the people into freedom even when they can’t even imagine it.

Jesus responds to the broken-hearted by opposing the religious and political leaders that are oppressing the people, and by healing, freeing and embracing the marginalized.  He describes his ministry by quoting the prophet Isaiah (Luke 4:18-19 The Message):

God’s Spirit is on me;

    he’s chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor,

sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and

    recovery of sight to the blind,

to set the burdened and battered free,

    to announce, “This is God’s year to act!”

Today, as people who want to proclaim the good news in a way that people can hear and accept, we need to take our cues from Moses and Jesus, not blaming those who are too broken-hearted to hear, but instead working and praying for their healing, freedom, and trust.  We need to hear their cry, believe their story, and present a vision of true freedom and healing in the arms of a loving God.

 

The Corporate Sabbatical of 2020

Due to some health issues, I’ve been on a “forced sabbatical” for a few months, and will likely be on it for a few more.  As schools and other institutions are shutting down because of COVID-19, (with no disrespect to those who’s lives are deeply impacted) we all might be placed on a forced Sabbatical!
With Saint Patrick’s Day right around the corner, I thought It might be good to return to something I wrote on solitude for a course on Celtic Spirituality years ago.

Solitude and Silence
Earthed Spirituality

If Celtic Spirituality was born out of Patrick’s experience, then it was born out of solitude.  Patrick spent 6 years from age 16 to 22 living the life of solitude as a slave-shepherd in the hills of Ireland.  He used his solitude to pray, praying the psalms day and night for those 6 years.

We’re actually not sure how, but the Celtic church was greatly influenced by the desert fathers and mothers.  These Christians were the beginning of the monastic movement.  They ventured out into the Egyptian and Syrian deserts to spend a life of solitude and prayer.  They didn’t go to escape the sins of the city, but to do battle with the devil – the desert was not a spiritually safe place in their minds.

One of the most famous of these desert fathers was Saint Anthony of  Egypt – His biography was written by Athanasius and is likely available from the library.  Amazingly, Antony appears carved into the top of many high crosses across Ireland!

The Celts held these hermits in high regard, as they did the martyrs of the church and they tried to emulate them.  But since there is no desert in Ireland, and by the end of Patrick’s life there was no persecution or opportunity for martyrdom, they created what was called “Green Martyrdom.”  In Green Martyrdom a person would go off into the Irish countryside and find a cave to sleep in, or they would sleep in the open, living a life of sacrifice and solitude

But the Irish countryside is not the desert, and many of the Celtic solitaries found an abundance rather than a lack of provision in their hermitage.  Here is a prayer that I have in a frame up in our little cabin in the woods:

I wish, O Son of the living God,
Eternal, ancient King,
For a secret hut in the wilderness
That it may be my dwelling

A very blue shallow well
To be beside it,
A clear pool for washing away sins
Through the grace of the Holy Ghost.

A beautiful wood close by
Around it on every side
For the nurture of many-voiced birds
To shelter and hide it.

Facing the south for warmth
A little stream across its ground,
A choice plot with abundant bounties
Which would be good for every plant…

This is the housekeeping I would get,
I would choose it without concealing,
Fragrant fresh leeks, hens,
Salmon, trout, bees.

My fill of clothing and food
From the King of good fame
And for me to be sitting for a time
Praying to God in every place.
Esther De Waal, The Celtic Way of Prayer, p.100

Green Martyrdom was not the only way of Solitude – for many of the monks who put out into the sea in their little coracles, they were venturing into the “Desert Ocean.”

The Celts got their cues from the Desert Fathers and Mothers, but they did not just copy them.  If someone went out to be a hermit in the desert, It was likely he or she would remain there for the rest of their life.  The Celts on the other hand might retire into solitude at some times in their lives, or at certain times of the year, and then later on re-emerge to join the community once again.
Great missionaries like St. Columbanus and Columba are recorded as seeking out and solitary spots as part of the pattern of their public activities.

What is Solitude?
Just as fasting is the abstinence from food for spiritual purposes, solitude is the withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. The period of solitude may last only a few minutes, or for days. Solitude may be sought in order to participate without interruption in other Spiritual Disciplines, or just to be alone with God.

Solitude and Silence
In both Foster’s and Whitney’s books on the Spiritual Disciplines, they partner the disciplines of Solitude and Silence. They do so rightly because the two do go together. Even when we do not fill our lives with people, we can fill our lives with noise – the T.V. or radio on to “keep us company.” In modern times we have every convenience to fill our ears and eyes with noise which serves to drown out the voice of God in our ears and the image of God from our eyes. True solitude removes ourselves from company, but it also removes ourselves from other distractions as well.

While I turn off all distraction in Solitude, I often keep a very vocal conversation going with God! I often walk through the forest, or paddle down streams talking out loud to God as I go. So my silence and my solitude don’t always go together.

The Joy of Solitude
Out of all the Spiritual Disciplines, this is the one that makes me sigh - like you might when you think of chocolate. For a guy that loves people, and loves a good party, I would like nothing better than to spend time in solitude with God. When life gets really busy, and even when it doesn’t, my heart cries out for a day or just a portion of a day when I can get away on my own and be with God.
Nothing replenishes my soul like solitude.
Bono sings about his yearning to get back to the loneliness of Africa in “Where the Streets Have No Name”
“I want to run,
I want to hide.
I want to tear down these walls
that hold me inside.
I want to reach out
and touch the flame,
Where the streets have no name
… and when I go there,
I go there with You
It’s all I can do.”

There are times when I am able to go out with just one of my kids – either to do something special, or to run errands. Inevitably doing these times, they will say to me, “Dad, I really like these times when we’re together, just you and I.” When I can get away for extended periods of solitude, inevitably, I say to God, “Father, I really like these times when we’re together, just you and I.”

The Fear of Solitude
Once, when I went on a solo retreat at a hermitage at Mount Alverno Retreat Centre, Sister Wendy, who runs the place, said to me just as I started up the hill to the hermitage, “If you find you can’t take it, you can always come back down the hill for a conversation.” I said, “No I’ll be alright.” She replied that some people hardly last a half an hour before the quiet and loneliness get to them and they come running back down the hill to find another human!


Some people fear being alone.
Foster writes, “Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. We keep up a constant stream of words even if they are inane. We buy radios that strap to our wrist or fit over our ears so that if no one else is around at least we are not condemned to silence. T. S. Eliot analyzed our culture so well when he wrote, “Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence.”
But loneliness or clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment. Solitude is not first a place but a state of mind and heart.”
- P. 84

He says at the beginning of the chapter: “Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude.”

For some of us, we don’t like to be alone because we don’t much like our own company, or because our personality is so shaped by the people around us, we don’t even know who we are when we are alone.

It may have to do with whether you are an introvert or an extrovert – introverts gain their energy from within, and are drained by exterior stimulation. Extroverts, on the other hand gain their energy from exterior stimulation and are drained by interior work.
I once went on a canoe trip with an extreme extrovert friend. I’ve never seen him so depressed! He only had me to bounce off of. Once, I left him to get some alone time for myself, and it was the worst thing I could have done to the poor soul. He kept getting lower and lower until we met up with a gang of people on their own trip – It was like he found water in the desert!

Introvert, or extrovert, fearful, or expectant: we need to practice solitude because it will strengthen your soul.

Solitude in Scripture
We only have to look at Jesus life if we want to find the practice of Solitude in scripture. Jesus inaugurated His ministry by spending forty days alone in the desert (Mt. 4:1—Il). Before He chose the twelve He spent the entire night alone in the desert hills (Lk.
6:12). When He received the news of the death of John the Baptist, He “withdrew from there in a boat to a lonely place apart” (Mt. 14:13). After the miraculous feeding of the five thousand Jesus made His disciples leave; then He dismissed the crowd and “went up into the hills by himself . . .“ (Mt. 14:23). Following a long night of work “in the morning, a great while before day, he rose and went out to a lonely place . . .“ (Mk. 1:35). When the twelve had returned from a preaching and healing mission, Jesus instructed them, “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place . . .“ (Mk. 6:31). Following the healing of a leper Jesus “withdrew to the wilderness and prayed” (Lk. 5:16). With three disciples He sought out the silence of a lonely mountain as the stage for the transfiguration (Mt. 17:1—9). As he prepared for His highest and most holy work, Jesus sought the solitude of the garden of Gethsemane (Mt. 26:36—46). One could go on, but perhaps this is sufficient to show that the seeking out of a solitary place was a regular practice with Jesus. So it should be for us.


We need to heed Jesus’ command, or invitation to “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place . . .“

The benefits of Solitude
Being Real
Some one once said, “True character is who you are when you are alone.” So if we are going to be real with God, we need to get alone with him more often. In the quiet of solitude, all pretensions can be striped away, all the things in life that are trying to mold us in their image are removed, all the requirements of the world disappear, and we can stand before God “just as I am” as the song says.
This might be scary for some, but for me it is a relief, because it is in solitude that I am reminded that above all else my identity is caught up in the fact that I am God’s adopted, chosen son. If you are not really sure of what God thinks about you, being alone with him might be pretty scary! Maybe the reason I cherish solitude so much is that, on my best days, I’m really sure of what God thinks about me – he loves me. If you’re not so sure that he loves you, get alone with him, listen to his voice – the first thing that the Holy Spirit teaches our spirit is how to say “Abba, Father” If you can get alone in silence with God, the first thing that you will hear is the Spirit whispering in your ear “you are God’s adopted child – he chose you, he loves you.

Strengthening
Dallas Willard writes,
“We must reemphasize, the “desert” or “closet” is the primary place of strength for the beginner, as it was for Christ and for Paul. They show us by their example what we must do. In stark aloneness it is possible to have silence, to be still, and to know that Jehovah indeed is God (Ps. 46:10), to set the Lord before our minds with sufficient intensity and duration that we stay centered on Him – our hearts fixed, established in trust (Ps. 112:7-8) – even when back in the office, shop, or home.”

 Do you know what Christian strength looks like?
Listen to Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians:
“I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19
Christian strength is the ability to know the love of God for us!

Getting Centred
It is in my times of Solitude that I able to take the broad view of my life and remember my calling and purpose in life. I can make big decisions and plans without the distractions of other voices etc. You can see that Jesus sought out solitude before the big events in his life. Trudeau’s long walk in the snow before he resigned as prime minister has become part of Canadian history lore.

Whitney tells of how Billy Graham was being pressured by Charles Templeton to give up his belief in the inspiration and authority of the Scriptures. Templeton had many convincing arguments that Graham had trouble refuting, and it was a tumultuous time for him. Graham took some time in solitude and meditated on the many times in scripture that it said “the Word of the Lord came.” He saw how Jesus treated scripture, and he realized that intellect alone would not solve his problem – that it was an issue of faith. So he placed his Bible on a stump and knelt down and said, Oh God; I cannot prove certain things. I cannot answer some of the questions Church is raising and some of the other people are raising, but I accept this Book by faith as the Word of God.” And through that time of solitude and the perspective he gained that night, Billy Graham was shaped into the man the world has known since.

In Solitude we learn to live in integrity.
In Max Lucado’s children’s book, “You are Special,” the Wemmicks spend all of their time judging each other. They give gold stars to those who impress them, and gray dots to those who fail to impress them. Punchinello, the main character discovers that – the dots and stars don’t stick when we spend time with the maker! (read the book, even if there’s no kid to read it to.)
When we are tempted to live in a way that will please those around us, rather than live in integrity with who the Father has called us to be, the more time we spend in solitude with the Father, the less other’s judgments stick to us!

How to practice Solitude
Daily Solitude
Traditionally, Christians have called this practice “having a quiet time.” It is taking 10 or so minutes out of your day, finding a place that you can be alone and quieting yourself before God. Start with 10 minutes, and then you may find that you want more time. Martin Luther felt that he needed 5 hours a day in solitude with God just so he could accomplish all that he had to do!
Some people may find it easy to quiet themselves before God, others of us need exercises to still our minds and our hearts. Take a look at the exercises in the Christian Meditation pamphlet for helpful ways to quiet your soul.
Many people read and meditate on scripture or use a devotional guide to help them. It is also the time that people bring their requests to God, but it is important that you listen to God during this time and not use scripture and prayer as a distraction from God’s presence. The important thing is to get alone and recognize God’s presence with you before you read or pray.
Dawn Comber has introduced me to this wonderful website called Sacred Space. It is maintained by the Irish Jesuits and it enables you to shut the world off and meditate of God’s presence even while you sit at your computer.

It would be great to set a space aside as Solitude space, so that even when there are people in the house, if they see you in that space, they know that you are wanting as much solitude as can be afforded. Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles had a very large family. When she needed solitude, she would bring her apron up over her head, so that she could pray and read scripture without being bothered by the myriad of children.

Spontaneous Solitude.
Once you have learned the discipline of solitude, you can steal solitude in the most everyday places when you get alone. Try not turning on the radio when you get in the car. Recognize God’s presence as you ride the elevator alone. Walk through a park on the way home and be conscious of walking with God. I try to make myself aware of God’s presence in the solitude of my long-distance runs, bike rides and swims.
They say that you can be alone even when standing in a crowd. So, if you have honed the discipline of solitude when you are alone, you could also practice it when you are waiting for the subway.

Retreats 


Taking a retreat is probably what comes first to your mind when you think of the discipline of solitude. There are places where you can go to be alone with God. I’ve listed a number of them in this pamphlet. You might have a piece of geography where you have really connected with God – you may go back there. For me, there is nothing like a canoe to help me connect with the Father. Go for a day, or even half a day, once you’ve done that, you can think of practicing solitude for longer periods. If you have no idea how to spend your time during your retreat, many retreat centres have spiritual directors who will listen to your needs and give some direction on how you could spend your time. I would be willing to help in this way if you want to meet before any retreat.

You might think that going on a solitary retreat is only for super Christians, people in full time ministry, or people who are really messed up, or all of the above. The truth is, I believe that all Christians should take a daylong solitary retreat at least once a year. I think that 4 times a year would be more beneficial. I try to take a day away at least once a month, and a multi-day retreat once a year.
If you have a issue to resolve in your life, think about all the time that you have taken worrying about it and trying to work it out, wouldn’t it be good to take a day to ask God what he thinks? My retreats help me to study, get connected with God as my friend, and I often am able to do some very important planning on those days. I do all of this in the presence of God.

Jesus says to us, “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place . . .“ will you heed his call?