In 2005, we lost my beautiful sister, Faith, to renal cancer which was likely caused by two treatments for two bouts of Hodgkin’s disease in the early 1990’s. During the difficult times of her illness and passing, we had 2 cds on heavy rotation: Steve Bell’s “Solace,” and Fernando Ortega’s “The Shadow of Your Wings.” Steve Bell’s liner notes said this:
“The Solace Project began when a friend, who was then dying of cancer, sent us an email to say that he had compiled several of my songs on a CD and was using it for pain management and comfort. He wrote in his diary, “I want to see a ‘sustaining’ CD from Steve Bell, a compilation that would help those who are dying and those who love them.” Ben had gone as far as to list which songs he thought would be best and had even thought through possible packaging scenarios for a CD. It occurred to us at Signpost that this could be a meaningful project and so we went ahead and put SOLACE together.”
At Faith’s funeral Chris Rice’s “Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)” and Matt Redman’s “Blessed be the Name” were sung.”
 |
In 2019, almost 15 years after Faith’s passing, I returned home from a 4 day bikepacking trip with an extreme and unexplained fatigue. The fatigue seemed to be connected to a severe infection and subsequent rounds of antibiotics. In July of that year I had completed an Ironman 70.3 Triathlon, in October, I couldn’t walk around the block. The antibiotics finally knocked down the infection, but the fatigue did not dissipate. I used the down time to get a spot checked out on my forearm. In December, I had surgery for Melanoma. The cancer was caught early enough and I required no further treatment, but the recovery from surgery as well as some nagging continued symptoms from the infection weighed on me. And… the deep fatigue persisted.
Early 2020, I received a call from my only other sister, Kathy, about some disconcerting symptoms that she was getting tested. In the Spring she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Due to the physical distance and Covid-19 restrictions we were only able to visit with her briefly when she came south for treatment in the Summer. Kathy passed in hospice care on January 10, 2021. Her funeral was online due to Covid-19. During her illness and subsequent death, I returned to Steve Bell and Fernando Ortega for solace. I’ve added other artists to the streaming list I now listen to.
My fatigue has only worsened through the two and a half years. I’ve been diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. ME/CFS has kept me from ministry, relationships, and the outdoor adventure that I love. Needless to say, these last few years have been full of grief (there have also been times of great joy). I realize that these have been difficult years for many people so I thought I would share the playlist that I keep returning to for solace.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6AmfXc7Z2ibKrchi7b9hCh?si=IL8tkMeHQWmDgr_0FTagUg
https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/solace/pl.u-9N9LLpeTxy49oE
I hope you find solace as you listen
The Lord, who is close to the broken-hearted and who rescues those whose spirits are crushed:
The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face shine upon you
The Lord turn his gaze toward you
And give you peace.
